Is She, “THE One?

marriages 2

According to answers.com there are approximately 2,320,644,660 single people in the world (and probably a few more if you count conjoined twins.) That means that you have a fairly good chance that someone would be interested in marrying you, if you got around to finding them. Admittingly with all of these options you can get a little paranoid about making the wrong choice (Imagine a multiply choice test with 2,320,644,660 possibly answers). How do you know if he/she is the right one?

Seems how the chances of wading through such an enormous roster, and the simple fact that if you spent 1 second with each candidate it would take nearly 75 years to get through, it would be helpful to look at the issue from a different perspective. How do I know I am the right one? When you think of it, what one person do you know more intimately than yourself? You know your strengths and weaknesses, propensities, talents, you know everything about you. So instead of asking, is he/she the right one, a better question would be, “Am I the right one?”

We will be looking at qualities of a good spouse in other articles, but for now, let’s focus specifically on ourselves. God commands us to work on us, before we start surgery on other people (Mat 7:1-7).

If I were to marry myself, what would I change? Don’t put the burden of “The Right One” on anyone else. Put on your work clothes and prepare to remodel your character. What character traits do you know are lacking? What goals or challenges have you left undone? If your character apartment is a dump, don’t expect to be able to date anyone who isn’t a hobo. Why would dating royalty ever want to be seen around your place? I am not talking about physical location (the King of the universe was born in a barn), but what is the condition of your heart (Proverbs 4:24)? Dates don’t appreciate having frogto clean up after your mess, and find it easier to move on.

Remember, frogs find other frogs attractive.

     If I were to marry my mom or dad, what would they change? I realize that it is often easy to explain away and justify character flaws, but not so easy to do that to our parents. Why not take your mom, dad or other spiritual leader out to eat, and ask them, “What would I need to change to be a good spouse.” After you perform lifesaving CPR from the shock, I guarantee they will have a few suggestions.

If I were to marry my enemy, what would they change? I am not suggesting you take your enemy out to lunch and ask him (although if handled with a little charm, your enemy may decide to marry you). Yet our enemies do have a lot to tell us about our character. If you are being riddled with sarcastic comments at work or school, they may be trying to tell you something constructive in their very mean way.

If God were to marry me, what would He change? The Bible refers to believers as His

Bride, so we should get ready (John 14:1-6, I John 3:3). God has standards for His bride, He

does not want us to frantically be doing our hair and makeup during the ceremony. If you work on becoming God’s man or woman today, who is to say that you will not bump into God’s spouse in the waiting room?parachute

     Preparation does not come by accident. Even if you are not seeing anyone, now is the best time to become the best husband or wife, it will save you a whole lot of pain. In fact, falling in love is similar to skydiving without a parachute, they both are fun until you realize a little preparation could save a hard landing.

Take a little time to score yourself on some of your character traits. Remember this chart is for personal growth purposes only, I would not recommend you showing the completed list and score to impress your date, it will weird them out, and then you would hate me.

Rate your character development using the following scale.

5 – Those who know me would say I have this trait.

3 – Not everyone would recognize this trait in me, but some would.

1 – Only a few people would say I have this trait.

0 – No one that I know would say I have this trait.

__  Wisdom  __ Discernment  __ Faith  __ Thankfulness __ Diligence

__ Creativity __  Hospitality __ Attentiveness  __ Patience  __ Confidence

__ Joyfulness __ Flexibility __ Availability  __ Responsibility  __ Initiative

__ Dependability  __ Sensitivity  __ Justice  __ Compassion  __ Loyalty

__ Deference  __ Meekness  __ Truthfulness __ Sincerity __ Virtue __ Boldness

__ Obedience  __ Thriftiness  __ Resourcefulness __ Self-Control __ Generosity

__ Forgiving spirit __ Gentleness  __ Kindness  __ Respectfulness

Total score _____/175

Would you be content marrying someone who scored in the same percentile? 

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